Sunday, November 16, 2008


Met with an elder care lawyer. Why does everything financial in life have to feel so slimy? You can benefit this...... much, for ..... these dollars. In the meantime, the poorer people just get screwed. Hard working people work their whole lives to provide comfort and security in their later years, maybe leave a very little something for their kids, and it gets all mucked up though dishonest laws and greedy instutions.

If I hire this guy, I should say, WHEN I hire this guy... he can guarantee the state will pay her bills through Medicaid and some money from the estate will go to the heirs and not all to the nursing home. Ick.

I would be a fool not to pay this guy his ridiculous fee to represent me, but it feels so, so, so wrong. Then on the other hand, it feels so, so, so wrong to pay the nursing home extortion fees for such awful care. You can't win. The system is so out of whack.

If I sound bitter, it is because this is recent and I haven't had the time to absorb the newest "slap" that has been this learning process.

When my time comes, I hope it happens quickly. Healthcare, senior rights and what we do to the elderly at the final stages of their lives is criminal.

Friday, October 31, 2008


Boo! Pretty scary... Happy Halloween.

For your Halloween read, a scary TRUE story... Ever ride the Bus Dart? It is a wheelchair door to door service provided by Belle Urban System, The Bus...

Yesterday the nursing home goofed... BIG ASS time! Sent me into the community with wheelchair and mom in tow. Told me she had a doctor appointment. Got there, and guess what? The office was closed. The appointment was for yesterday. Good darn thing the lobby was open and there were 2 of the nicest ladies still there, doing paperwork. They unlocked the doors and allowed us in. One of the ladies called The Dart to beg them return (our return bus wasn't supposed to be there for one full hour more!) Even though it was fairly warm yesterday.... I was dealing with a very sick woman who just got over pneumonia. Sitting outside in the wind and cool weather would not have been a good thing, Martha. Can you imagine if it was the middle of winter and no one was in the building? The Bus Dart returned in about 10 minutes. Can't fault them there. They were actually very accommodating.

Every dealing I've been having lately makes my blood boil. Someone is going to really get blasted soon, I'm afraid...

On a good note! Yes, have to have those or I'd blow a gasket for sure.... My son is home from college for a long weekend. It was so good to hug him, see him and talk to him. He forgot about my surgery and hugged me and lifted me into the air.... Kinda ouch, but worth it.

Another good note, have plans for the evening out. Includes wine and conversation and good relaxing time. Have to keep the sanity... Have to keep the sanity... Ooohhhmmmm....

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I actually had to look at the date... didn't even know what month it is. Things with my mom continue to spiral out of control. We did a two week stint in the hospital again. Started with more fluid buildup, led to heart failure, then a new twist emerged.... pneumonia. Now there is a treat. What an awful way to wrack your body.

Here is some of the frustration we are dealing with:
She was so ill, we tried to get the medical power of attorney enacted. We had this drawn up with the lawyer when my father died 17 years ago. You think you have your bases covered and they pull some crap out last minute to foil you....

We learned that it means nothing until you have to have 2 doctors sign that someone is mentally incompetent. (how demeaning).... A psychologist came to eval her, she had her best day in months, and voila.... totally competent. I'm sure I will get to pay this jerk too... Means we have no rights to full disclosure, and do not get informed when decisions are made. I guess it doesn't count that I had been spoon feeding her, she was hallucinating for days, thought I was her sister, not her daughter, rang the nurses bell repeatedly without cause or knowledge of doing it... The competency decision was based on a 20 minute chat. She signed herself out of the hospital without even knowing what paperwork she was signing. Now the nursing home is making decisions for her (well she is really making those decisions, right?)

I'll let you all know about a little "trick" the nursing homes pull called "bed holds" in another blog. We now owe thousands of dollars in legal coercion/strong arm robbery just to guarantee they will take the residents back when they are released from the hospital. Medicare and private insurance doesn't cover this. You do.

It is nothing short of criminal what they do to the elderly and the families who are already emotionally fried by watching their loved ones deteriorate and spend their last days so unhappy and uncomfortable.

We can also talk in the future about the "loose books" of estate sale people. They sent a puny check to me (no way was it the full intake) and then had the nerve to use my father's antique uncancelled stamp collection as postage...I swear.

I could keep going, but really it serves no purpose.

Oh yea, forgot to add... I'm back to work full time. I'm feeling better health wise, but not really back to normal, yet.

Sandy had her rant... I guess this is mine.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


It has been a wild summer. Several trips in and out of the hospital with my mom. The last one was very scary; we came extremely close to losing her. Several blood transfusions and they resurrected her.

She is currently back in the nursing home, the better of the two we have had experience with. Makes you think about whether modern medicine has done us a favor or not. People are much sicker and more compromised at the end of their lives. Not much dignity left.

I continue on medical leave; one more week to recuperate before back to the old grindstone. I am way too feisty to lay around. Kind of making me crazy, but the pain keeps me in check.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Summer is winding down quickly. She is back in a nursing home. Been there for almost a month now, with another short stay at the hospital in between. This nursing home takes better care of her and communicates with me on a much more frequent and better level. We are unsure if she will sufficiently rehab enough to make it back to her apartment. Dealing with emptying out her house, paying and taking care of an assisted living residence and dealing with the day-to-day issues of her health and nursing home care.... Whew....

Could really use a vacation on a beach somewhere... My luck, a hurricane would come around.
Next week, dealing with some health issues of my own. Won't be able to start back to work for a couple of weeks. Bummer.

Is 2008 over yet? I'm ready for the new year.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Summer Vacation

The summer is finally here! I can quit worrying about what websites kids are viewing. I can post my own blogs, garden, get my house clean, take my walks outdoors (yea!), watch late night tv again, and sleep in later (still haven't mastered that like I wish)

My son is home from college, so the house is not so quiet. It does mean that tennis is on the boob tube much more frequently. I'm ok with that. Small price to pay.

My mom's health is still an issue that I'm dealing with. Some days are better than others.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A quick update...

Thanks for all the well wishes guys...

Update on the nursing home situation....

My mom was released back to her assisted living apartment. Has to be a relief in some ways, but in other ways it is disturbing as well. Seems due to costs and Medicare, they are quick to release from nursing homes, just as they are from regular hospitals. It is amazing to me how little control one needs to be of their destiny and well being, to be deemed ok to function and make decisions on an individual level.

It is tough to walk the line between letting someone make their own decisions and trying to keep them safe and well cared for. I can certainly see why so many people bounce in and out of these care facilities. We really don't do our elderly justice on so many different levels.

Latest update....6/12....Assisted living just called, she fell down again. I knew it was too soon for her to be on her own. It is going to be a loooong summer. Truly sucks to get old.

Sunday, June 1, 2008



Hey everyone

Rock on folks....Music will start soon, be warned...

Well, it is time to jump ship. It is beyond time. I am very tired of the misuse friends of mine have taken on the previous site where I used to blog. This is a new freedom. I can say and do what I feel.... It is such a relief to be done tip-toeing around the JT editors.

My life has been crazy lately! I've been dealing with being in the "sandwich generation." Two of my kids are graduating from college and starting out on their own. So, less demand on me; however, I just moved my aging mother into an assisted living facility. That means a house chuck full of stuff to get rid of, and I'm the lucky dog that gets to do it!

After only a few days of living the high life in the new apartment, my mom took a fall and wound up in the hospital and thanks to good old Medicare (NOT) They shipped her off to a rehab facility. In plain terms that means a nursing home. So, no free time for me. One really has to oversee the care of loved ones in places like that. The workers are so overworked that neglect is an everyday thing. Really a shame. So, now I have three places to take care of...the old house, the new apartment and most importantly her and where she currently is.... good times!

This is really just a test blog. I'll try to jazz with it and see how it works and how to "purty" and spice it up!

Thanks to the current moderator for the invite. It would be great if this works for us!