Sunday, February 15, 2009


Middle of February and lots of stuff still brewing. Not sure where to begin. I would think by now, I would be much smarter and know how things work. Doesn't appear to be the case.

I may have sold her house. We are just waiting on an FHA inspection. It surprises me that I could empty it out, selling her and my deceased fathers possessions, put the house up for sale and never show proof that I had the legal right to do so. Just this last week, 3 weeks after accepting the offer, did anyone ask for a legal copy of my power of attorney. I must have an honest face, or they are very trusting.

I am hoping that the closing goes as planned and that monkey is off my back. The state doesn't allow her to use social security to pay for taxes, minimal utility bills, home owners insurance and snow removal on property she still owns. What she gets, goes directly to the nursing home. That means someone (me) has to "loan" her money until the house sells. More paperwork to document the loans, more pain in the tush. (I'm trying to be nice there) Once the property sells, she can pay me back.

We did another stint in the ER and ICU this month. Her health still is very fragile. She is mentally better since her release. The added units of blood have pumped more oxygen to her brain. That is good news..... and bad. She believes she is able to live independently again, which clearly, she is not. She goes on and on like a child about it; however, her physical capabilities still are totally limiting. I can't blame her for wanting out. It is an awful place to live. We have not told her that her doctors say it is a permanent placement. She would give up. The staff, however, are not as kind. They tell her things they have no right to tell her. Some assistant therapist told her that her apartment was rented out. That is their business.... how?

There was a fight about bed holds while she was in the hospital. ($300 per day out of your pocket) Technically, Medicaid should have paid them... once they set a date of approval, it would happen. They forced me to guarantee it. I wouldn't do it. They packed her crap.... literally threw it in boxes and put it outside in a shed. Her eyeglasses were thrown into a box with her phone and other things that could have easily been damaged. Her clothing was not folded, just dumped. Their disregard for her and her possessions totally pissed me off.... I brought it up at one of the care meetings and they were mad at me for mentioning it.

Still no word from the state if they accepted all the paperwork I meticulously provided. We still have no official word on medicaid approval or a date. The system works at its own pace. They aren't concerned about the bills that arrive every day in the mail. They make me very nervous. We don't know if Medicare should be paying those bills or if Medicaid really should be. To someone who always pays their bills on time, it is very hard to see them pile up, knowing there is no more money left to pay them.

The average nursing home bill has been between $7,500.00 and $10,000.00 per month, including medication costs... and her private insurance is still covering the major part of the medication cost. Take your average nest egg and figure out how long you would be able to last. It doesn't take a genius to see that most everyone in nursing care is on medicaid. The unreasonable cost forces you to become part of the system.

We have an upcoming doctor appointment. I hope he is more honest with her this time. He is a master avoider. My fear is that he will buy into her pleas and say she can try assisted living again. I can't really believe that would happen; my brother says it won't. I don't trust anyone's good judgment anymore. They have failed over and over again in making good decisions.