Friday, July 24, 2009


Mom passed away the beginning of May. I haven't been able to update. Not sure how I feel. Although, I do miss her terribly at times, there is a lot of relief that she isn't suffering anymore and no one is asking me to do impossible tasks. I cringed every time my phone rang and the mail was delivered. It had been quite a ride. I was beginning to get totally exhausted and unsure of how much longer I could last.

It was so easy to become angry with the system. It is so out of whack and the care is atrocious. Now, I see that much of my anger was fear... fear of being out of control and not being able to take care of her.

I was very lucky she wound up in Kenosha. She happened upon a wonderful compassionate doctor who eased my burden by showing me that even professionals struggle with the same end of life decisions I needed to make. He called me every evening the week we discontinued heroic measures. It seems strange that with all the time I spent there, I never met him in person; however, I know that he was a good human and chose the right profession.

Dealing with her personal belongings is my summer task. I can only do so much, and then it becomes personal, and unfortunately, overwhelming. I remember this from when my dad died.

Take a look around at all the crap and mementos you have accumulated and wonder what someone else will do with them.... It is sad.... but stuff is just stuff.

I'm doing ok though. Life does go on. You are a conglomerate of your life experiences. I have a wonderful group of friends who keep me busy and laughing.