It has been a long time since I laid down my thoughts. I started looking back at some previous posts, but can only read back so far. Hard to believe all that took place. Hard to believe I was able to manage it all.  It was a difficult time, for sure. Writing it out helped. The plants from the funeral that I planted outside still bloom. She is still with me in many ways, in my thoughts and actions every day.

My last two years have not been without change and drama. Changes to my job have been challenging. The political climate in our state certainly did not favor education. Many jobs were shifted, hundreds were eliminated, and I was one of the causalities. It took great focus to see my way though. Just when I felt comfortable in my skin again, another shift came my way. I'm beginning to think I was meant to learn most of my life lessons late in life. I've never been good with change, and this has been a real test.

I think I've learned that I can be very adaptable. It takes a lot of work and energy, but it can be done. I think I've learned a new confidence and strength in myself. Now.... let's hope this test was passed and I don't need to keep practicing. Although the job I'm doing isn't using my skills, it is a still a very important job and directly impacts the children I serve. I am still looking for a better fit. I come home tired, sore and sometimes very mentally beaten. Something using more brain power and less wiles and physical fortitude would be welcome. Have I paid enough dues yet? Only time will tell....