3/11/2009

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.... Dylan Thomas

I've been thinking about this poem a lot today. How do you tell someone that their words have forked lightening and maybe it is ok to go gentle into that good night?

Is it really your place to do that? Is it more humane? Dying ends all the suffering. I guess that is a choice we all have to make. You come in really alone, and you go out alone... even though you might be surrounded by those who love you.

The hospital called me yesterday to bring in my power of attorney paperwork. They were pretty sure mom was at her last moment. They goofed though, and called my home number while I was at work. By the time I got the message... it could have been too late. She persists. She keeps fighting. The human will to live is very strong.

I just got all her financial things in order, sold the house, got the medicaid certification. While it was a huge chore and made my brain hurt at times, those things seem pretty small now.

I know I've been there for her. Does sitting next to someone while they die really help them? I did it with my dad. It never leaves you. I don't know that I have the strength to do it again.

Oh yea, it is my birthday. Please don't wish me a happy one.