I haven't been back for quite awhile. It is still very hard to read where my mind was at such a difficult time in my life. I left out a lot of the sadness, it was just too raw to document. It was a very tough time helping someone navigate the end of life necessities.  I can't say that the pain is gone. It never really leaves you.  It changes you.  I think the time between feeling panic gets longer and longer as you go. 

So this is 2021. Month eleven of the Covid pandemic. I decided it was in my best interest health-wise to retire. My employer's decision making was never in the best interest of the employees. I chose to be the "Master of my own domain," and not let their choices be the guiding factor. It was a good decision. They have required employees to work in buildings that I believe are unsafe. They are now looking at bringing back students just as vaccines are beginning to role out. We've gone this long being safer at home and now we want to open it all up?  No one knows the implications of whether this is just an experiment or whether workers and students will be safe, or if someone's life will be compromised and they close back down. 

I can't believe it has almost been a whole year of staying in, staying safe. Thanksgiving was cancelled, Christmas was bizarre. We held it in my daughter's garage with the door open. It was wonderful to see the kids and grandkids, but very odd, very short. There was no Valentine's Day party, no chocolate hearts for the grandkids. No Easter dinner. No birthday parties. I miss my kids. I feel like I'm missing very important milestones with the grandkids. Will they even know me?  

More sadness this year. My younger brother, my lifelong partner in crime, my easy going,  go-to guy for normalcy passed away from Cancer. It happened fast. Learned that he saw a doctor and within a few weeks he was gone. How can that be? From five of us in my immediate family, we are down to two, myself and my oldest sister who lives on the other side of the country. Life can be mean, and disaster can, and does happen without warning sometimes. 

As of right now, I am trying to be patient. I'm trying to maintain calm and believe things will improve. I am relatively healthy.  No vaccines for Covid yet. They are still working on making more and getting it to first responders and those who have more exposure. I have to wait my turn. I hope it comes soon. I need to get out and live a little yet. Life is too short to quarantine forever. I miss people. I miss the spontaneity of a drop in visit. Zoom helps, somewhat, but it is nowhere near the same as a hug and an, "I love you, Grandma."

Silly Video

♫ Keeper of the hole, master of the house.
This little ditty has been sitting in drafts for a long time. Still makes me smile, so I'll post it.

Time Keeps Marching On

Time for  another update. Can't believe how the years pass. Looking back at my thoughts and view of the world and my current situation is interesting.  Many changes have occurred since my last writing.

A new job was on the horizon. Good things come to those who persevere and to those who have the want and initiative for improvement. My new position is better than any that preceded it. There is the independence I was seeking, and I am able to work to help children a much more fulfilling way. It can be more than exhausting at times, as the workload can be heavy. With no clearly defined parameters, I am finding that I am my own worst boss. It is hard to pace myself and not do too much. There is a huge needy population of teens out there. Seems like not only are the basic needs of kids not being met, they are totally lacking in guidance from home: common sense, honest conversation and self-assurance. Phones, electronics have taken over. Everything is immediate, intense in the moment, and therefore less satisfying, and can be more devastating and intense. Bullying is a huge issue. More and more, kids are failing in a system that is being forced to dumb down to meet the lower performance. I'm concerned it is a spiral effect and is sometimes hard to witness. Then, there are happy moments where you see you are making a difference and you come back the next day, newly refreshed.

My health has been an issue this past year. I've been dealing with a string of unusual infections that several doctors couldn't solve - or didn't seem to want to pinpoint the link or root cause of them. The extreme fatigue and memory issues had me pretty worried for awhile. Throwing antibiotics at it didn't help, but seemed to compound the situation. I felt poisoned and toxic with the medication at one point. My immune system is still fighting whatever it is, but at the moment, with the summer sun and air, it feels more manageable.

I saved the best for last.... There are also babies in my life. Three lovely little ones. My own children are wonderful parents. This depth of this joy can't sufficiently be put into words.

It has been a long time since I laid down my thoughts. I started looking back at some previous posts, but can only read back so far. Hard to believe all that took place. Hard to believe I was able to manage it all.  It was a difficult time, for sure. Writing it out helped. The plants from the funeral that I planted outside still bloom. She is still with me in many ways, in my thoughts and actions every day.

My last two years have not been without change and drama. Changes to my job have been challenging. The political climate in our state certainly did not favor education. Many jobs were shifted, hundreds were eliminated, and I was one of the causalities. It took great focus to see my way though. Just when I felt comfortable in my skin again, another shift came my way. I'm beginning to think I was meant to learn most of my life lessons late in life. I've never been good with change, and this has been a real test.

I think I've learned that I can be very adaptable. It takes a lot of work and energy, but it can be done. I think I've learned a new confidence and strength in myself. Now.... let's hope this test was passed and I don't need to keep practicing. Although the job I'm doing isn't using my skills, it is a still a very important job and directly impacts the children I serve. I am still looking for a better fit. I come home tired, sore and sometimes very mentally beaten. Something using more brain power and less wiles and physical fortitude would be welcome. Have I paid enough dues yet? Only time will tell....

Storm Report

Where were you when the big wind from Winnetka blew though? 

Did you lose your power?  Are you back in business?

Did you witness any damage or debris on your daily travels?

Please check in, let us know you survived and give your report! :)

1/14/2011

 

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

3-26-2010

Reading back in my blog, I am in a much better place than I was one year ago. I am forever changed, though. Hard to imagine how I survived that chaos: the mental and physical stress. Trying to live a normal life with so many assaults and so much burden of choosing what is right for someone else is... insane.

Things are much more calm for me now. The phone and mail no longer scare me. I don't bring a phone to bed with me anymore.

Spring is springing all around... wait, that isn't how the poem goes:

THE RAIN is raining all around,
It falls on field and tree,
It rains on the umbrellas here,
And on the ships at sea.

--Robert Louis Stevenson

Mom liked poems. I think of her often. I try to focus on the good things she did. We butted heads terribly at times. She made plenty of mistakes in her life and I was not that great to live with either. I think about who I am and how I have been shaped by her life and actions.

I've been hearing robins, but haven't laid eyes on any. The tulips are poking through the ground. A plant, included with fresh flowers from the funeral, survived and is growing outside my back window. It made me smile to see it. I am getting antsy, checking on my rose bushes to hope for new growth. Life does go on....

Mail continues to come to the house for mom. The magazine subscriptions and pleas from charities she gave to are relentless. A few stray bills from the nursing home and the healthcare system. She has been gone now for 10 months. You would think with their fragile clientele.... nursing homes would be proactive in getting those bills out. Wisconsin law states that the heirs are not responsible for bills 30 days after death. Once the estate has been closed, no one is responsible... they have to eat those outstanding bills. Still not sufficient punishment for making my mom's days miserable with poor care and inattentiveness.

I'm still sad when I drive past these institutions, knowing there are hundreds of individuals sitting in there. It is like a prison sentence for your last days on Earth. Makes me think about my own future. We've just passed the new and improved health care bill. Will this new way of doing business make things better..... or will it be that much worse?

1-24-2010

Months have passed since my last blog. It has been 8 months since my mom passed away. I'm still trying to get my head on straight. I'm still trying to figure out what a "normal" day is. Being the responsible care person for someone with a life ending illness is massive to ones mental and physical self. While in the past, I dealt with serious, potentially life altering illness with one of my children, I can not imagine the toll on parents with children who are terminally ill.

The possessions still need to be weeded through some more, but I'm happy with what I've accomplished. I've taken care of quite a bit, given away what I can and incorporated some of those things that meant so much to her into my own life. I can only do that slowly, I find. I need to be careful not to lose my own self.

The hum-drum of working every day provides distractions.

I find that lately I get so angry with so many things that aren't right... power struggles over things that infringe on what is really right for the masses, in a quest to simply bigger ones own lot in life. Wow. That is it. That simple statement sums up all that has been bugging me... if I don't mention the crazy-ass dreams I've been having.

8/23/2009

Another month has gone by. Wow! Summer is over.

I've been invited today for a delicious meal, the best company and friendship. Being around people you are comfortable with and who understand you are what it is all about. Being relaxed. Can't wait!

Still dealing with loose ends concerning mom's estate. The basement is acceptable. I'm still holding too much stuff belonging to my mom, but it is much better!

Unbelievably, mom still gets more mail every day than I do. I've noticed that I've been missing her and remembering the good times now more that the constant assault of things to do and worry are gone. The pain and anger of the last year or two is starting to fade a little and I'm able to let some of the grief run its course. Not enough yet though. I can literally still feel the lump of worry in my throat. I wish I could be more like my brother, laissez-faire. Alas, I can not. My blood pressure is still up despite medication.

School starts next week. Back at it. I am looking forward to the routine and the kids. I've missed them. What's wrong with me? ;> What I won't miss is the alarm and the early rising. Five am is brutal, especially as the days continue to get shorter and the darkness makes getting out of bed impossible.

Off to shower and have some fun. Fun! It is about time...

8-15-09

I've been able to manage much of mom's possessions. The box count is down. I still am holding way too much. I donated quite a bit to charity, but I'm finding difficulty, for some reason, in letting go of more. I tried to hold a small rummage sale, but those don't really disperse things the way they should. You really need the right clientele to show up. I know I need to get rid of more.

7/24/2009

Mom passed away the beginning of May. I haven't been able to update. Not sure how I feel. Although, I do miss her terribly at times, there is a lot of relief that she isn't suffering anymore and no one is asking me to do impossible tasks. I cringed every time my phone rang and the mail was delivered. It had been quite a ride. I was beginning to get totally exhausted and unsure of how much longer I could last.

It was so easy to become angry with the system. It is so out of whack and the care is atrocious. Now, I see that much of my anger was fear... fear of being out of control and not being able to take care of her.

I was very lucky she wound up in Kenosha. She happened upon a wonderful compassionate doctor who eased my burden by showing me that even professionals struggle with the same end of life decisions I needed to make. He called me every evening the week we discontinued heroic measures. It seems strange that with all the time I spent there, I never met him in person; however, I know that he was a good human and chose the right profession.

Dealing with her personal belongings is my summer task. I can only do so much, and then it becomes personal, and unfortunately, overwhelming. I remember this from when my dad died.

Take a look around at all the crap and mementos you have accumulated and wonder what someone else will do with them.... It is sad.... but stuff is just stuff.

I'm doing ok though. Life does go on. You are a conglomerate of your life experiences. I have a wonderful group of friends who keep me busy and laughing.

4/2/2009

Trying to be more reactive than proactive lately. Trying to stay calm when I feel like screaming. Every time I intervene, things become more contorted and confused. Dealing with institutions is insane. They roll in their own fashion.

Alas, the craziness continues. The medicaid qualification (so that the state pays costs) that I busted my butt and stressed over collecting the paperwork, dispursing assets and working so damn hard to get, ended-- when I sold her house. The money from the house became an asset according to the state. We knew that would happen, keeping it was costing too much in taxes, utilities, etc. Renting it out made it an asset too. You get screwed no matter what you do.....

So, now I'm not sure how much the bills are mounting up, who is paying for what, what is happening. The new nursing home doesn't seem to even be aware that she is self pay again... hmmm.... or is she? Is medicare covering her again? Sure wish I knew that..... before I get a bill for $20,000.00 in the mail.

We still don't know whether she was ever evaluated and deemed mentally incompetent, like the doctors agreed they would do when she was just in the hospital. Believe me, she is not capable of making her own decisions. No one seems to know if the medical power of attorney is enacted and is now in my hands or not. We don't even really know what that all means. We hope there are no negative ramifications!

Not sure how anything really works at the new place, how doctor's appointments are handled, who her primary nurse contact is, who anyone is. The social worker handles over 100 patients and seems to have more on her plate than she can handle.

I've been asked to make decisions that I don't know enough about, like is hospice is the right move at this point? The doctors said yes, then the home cancelled the orders... Hospice does not employ physical therapy and some medications which I feel are still beneficial. I received a call stating physical therapy made a decision to not treat her, although I am informed when I visit that she is still a participant.

I don't know how much she is eating, what medications she is on, what her days are like.... it is frightening.

While the new nursing home seems to be taking better care of her (cleanliness, treating her with more kindness, etc) than the last, the communication issue and the distance I must travel to get there (no longer a stop on the way home from work) are huge downfalls.

I asked today if there is a pamphlet, some form of instructions, procedures. I was told they don't have it? So, still in the dark, despite attempts to gain information. Maddening. A care plan meeting was held this week without anyone notifying the family; a note was stuck to her bulletin board but we didn't see it in time. My brother is supposed to be calling to get a meeting with someone who can answer some of these questions.

I'm concerned they are using a heavier hand with pain medication than what is in her best interest. She seems totally out of it at times and on one visit, began yelling out for help like a child, stating that is the only way they will come (not true) She didn't seem to have a grasp on reality and how to ring the bell for assistance. Why the change? Is she too medicated? Not enough oxygen? Blood chemistry gone awry? Who knows????

I'm not sure if she knows that I have been around. It is HARD to stay around. When she is awake, it is disheartening to hear her being so unhappy and dillusional. It is also pretty depressing and solitary to sit there in a silent room while she sleeps and gasps for air.

3/17/09

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks in the hospital. Medicare/Medicaid is getting restless. They will be releasing her to anywhere who will take her tomorrow. It isn't about your health people, it is all about money. Face it. We are talking hospice at this point, maybe..that is if the money falls into place. No kidding. Not sure where that will put her and what the total implications of that are at this point.


She was originally admitted for edema. She was up 40 pounds of water weight. Pretty hard on the heart. Since her admittance, she has gained an additional 20 pounds. They identified the bacteria that caused her coughing, which we thought was pneumonia. It is MRSA, antibiotic resistant staff. Mean shit. She contracted it while in the nursing home. Wait, can't say that, they won't admit that. They would have to report that and that makes them look bad.... This bacteria can and does kill healthy people. How can she keep fighting this with such a bad heart? The human will to live is amazing. She is amazing...

The nursing home, (I'll say it)... where she caught this bug, now refuses to take her back. She can go to Kenosha (a tiring daily trek) or way out by Burlington where her elderly friends can not drive to often, and I don't have the time each day to visit while working a full day.

There is no humanity. There really isn't much caring. I'll repeat. It is all money. Yes, I am bitter once again. It is hard not to be.

I'll know more tomorrow. More meetings... more inhumanity.

3/11/2009

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.... Dylan Thomas

I've been thinking about this poem a lot today. How do you tell someone that their words have forked lightening and maybe it is ok to go gentle into that good night?

Is it really your place to do that? Is it more humane? Dying ends all the suffering. I guess that is a choice we all have to make. You come in really alone, and you go out alone... even though you might be surrounded by those who love you.

The hospital called me yesterday to bring in my power of attorney paperwork. They were pretty sure mom was at her last moment. They goofed though, and called my home number while I was at work. By the time I got the message... it could have been too late. She persists. She keeps fighting. The human will to live is very strong.

I just got all her financial things in order, sold the house, got the medicaid certification. While it was a huge chore and made my brain hurt at times, those things seem pretty small now.

I know I've been there for her. Does sitting next to someone while they die really help them? I did it with my dad. It never leaves you. I don't know that I have the strength to do it again.

Oh yea, it is my birthday. Please don't wish me a happy one.

2/15/2009

Middle of February and lots of stuff still brewing. Not sure where to begin. I would think by now, I would be much smarter and know how things work. Doesn't appear to be the case.

I may have sold her house. We are just waiting on an FHA inspection. It surprises me that I could empty it out, selling her and my deceased fathers possessions, put the house up for sale and never show proof that I had the legal right to do so. Just this last week, 3 weeks after accepting the offer, did anyone ask for a legal copy of my power of attorney. I must have an honest face, or they are very trusting.

I am hoping that the closing goes as planned and that monkey is off my back. The state doesn't allow her to use social security to pay for taxes, minimal utility bills, home owners insurance and snow removal on property she still owns. What she gets, goes directly to the nursing home. That means someone (me) has to "loan" her money until the house sells. More paperwork to document the loans, more pain in the tush. (I'm trying to be nice there) Once the property sells, she can pay me back.

We did another stint in the ER and ICU this month. Her health still is very fragile. She is mentally better since her release. The added units of blood have pumped more oxygen to her brain. That is good news..... and bad. She believes she is able to live independently again, which clearly, she is not. She goes on and on like a child about it; however, her physical capabilities still are totally limiting. I can't blame her for wanting out. It is an awful place to live. We have not told her that her doctors say it is a permanent placement. She would give up. The staff, however, are not as kind. They tell her things they have no right to tell her. Some assistant therapist told her that her apartment was rented out. That is their business.... how?

There was a fight about bed holds while she was in the hospital. ($300 per day out of your pocket) Technically, Medicaid should have paid them... once they set a date of approval, it would happen. They forced me to guarantee it. I wouldn't do it. They packed her crap.... literally threw it in boxes and put it outside in a shed. Her eyeglasses were thrown into a box with her phone and other things that could have easily been damaged. Her clothing was not folded, just dumped. Their disregard for her and her possessions totally pissed me off.... I brought it up at one of the care meetings and they were mad at me for mentioning it.

Still no word from the state if they accepted all the paperwork I meticulously provided. We still have no official word on medicaid approval or a date. The system works at its own pace. They aren't concerned about the bills that arrive every day in the mail. They make me very nervous. We don't know if Medicare should be paying those bills or if Medicaid really should be. To someone who always pays their bills on time, it is very hard to see them pile up, knowing there is no more money left to pay them.

The average nursing home bill has been between $7,500.00 and $10,000.00 per month, including medication costs... and her private insurance is still covering the major part of the medication cost. Take your average nest egg and figure out how long you would be able to last. It doesn't take a genius to see that most everyone in nursing care is on medicaid. The unreasonable cost forces you to become part of the system.

We have an upcoming doctor appointment. I hope he is more honest with her this time. He is a master avoider. My fear is that he will buy into her pleas and say she can try assisted living again. I can't really believe that would happen; my brother says it won't. I don't trust anyone's good judgment anymore. They have failed over and over again in making good decisions.

2009 Has to be Easier!

I've had time to digest. My take on it all is a little more in perspective. I'm still offended at the lawyer's fees, don't get me wrong, but I can see that the end result is what really matters.

This past year has been a growing experience. With growing, comes growing pains.

I felt huge emotional pains, watching my mom suffer painfully: physically, mentally and, yes, emotionally. I can't imagine the loss of dignity of being in a nursing home, confined to a wheelchair, in diapers, having someone spoon feed you, when your brain is telling you that you are well enough to be independent. (she definitely was, and still is, not!)

It hurt tremendously to have to move her possessions from her independent living apartment without her knowledge. (We couldn't let on, the ensuing depression would have made her give up, she was too ill to handle that grave injustice)

As the only child in town, I became her support. I became the financial power of attorney, the medical power of attorney, the advocate between her and her care givers, the one to do the arranging of transportation, the one to shuttle back and forth between the doctors, the hospitals.... At times, I felt there was a phone constantly in my ear. When the phone rings or the mail comes, I cringe. Ya, me, who doesn't even balance my checkbook because I truly hate money and dealing with that sort of thing.

The messy state of her affairs... Where do I begin? She had been very ill for many years; it was monumental. It wasn't just filing papers... I learned about: insurance, home owners, medicare, and personal secondary medical insurance; selling a house; estate sales; selling stock; reclaiming property that has been transferred to the state; liquidating assets; property tax; prearranging funerals; probate; death tax; dealing with financial planners; sheltering assets; annuities; elder care attorneys....the list goes on and on. Each one more insulting to your intelligence because the elderly get bashed financially on all ends. BUT the most fun???? Medicaid law.

Wait a minute... let me amend that. Maybe the most tolling thing was the well meaning, evil spirited phone calls and digs from her friends and tertiary relatives who didn't think I was doing enough or doing right by her... Where was their help??

So, every day, I had a huge to-do list because the time clock was ticking; the law changed as of today, January 1, 2009. As of today, the law is way less favorable if you haven't pre-planned.

So on top of all this BS paperwork, trying to get people to do their jobs right when you contact them, reading and learning, and oh yea, my job, my responsibilities and my life...one still needs to eat, sleep (not much), shower, do laundry and buy groceries (did I mention some major surgery?)... I visit every other day or so, and somehow find a way to put a smile on my face, be upbeat and find cheery conversation.

I learned that it might be ok to die. It has changed my outlook on the final frontier. I hope I go fast. I hope medicine doesn't prolong my life to the point that I can no longer take care of myself. I also learned that the tough part is being the one who has to "clean up" after someone else dies.

I will probably learn more in 2009. The saga, I know, is far from over. The house is not yet sold. I just read an article that said there were only 13 homes that sold in December in Racine. Some of them sold for well less than half of their assessed value.

I may end up buying real estate that I don't even want, just to save it from the wolves. (we have 45 days to sell it or it becomes fodder for the state to seize upon her death) That doesn't even take into consideration the insurance, property taxes, upkeep, heat.... see the fun, see why sleep is elusive?

The emotional pain will be huge when she finally does pass on. I will really be a grown up then and will miss her terribly... I already do on days her mental capabilities take her away.

11/16/08

Met with an elder care lawyer. Why does everything financial in life have to feel so slimy? You can benefit this...... much, for ..... these dollars. In the meantime, the poorer people just get screwed. Hard working people work their whole lives to provide comfort and security in their later years, maybe leave a very little something for their kids, and it gets all mucked up though dishonest laws and greedy instutions.

If I hire this guy, I should say, WHEN I hire this guy... he can guarantee the state will pay her bills through Medicaid and some money from the estate will go to the heirs and not all to the nursing home. Ick.

I would be a fool not to pay this guy his ridiculous fee to represent me, but it feels so, so, so wrong. Then on the other hand, it feels so, so, so wrong to pay the nursing home extortion fees for such awful care. You can't win. The system is so out of whack.

If I sound bitter, it is because this is recent and I haven't had the time to absorb the newest "slap" that has been this learning process.

When my time comes, I hope it happens quickly. Healthcare, senior rights and what we do to the elderly at the final stages of their lives is criminal.

10/31/08

Boo! Pretty scary... Happy Halloween.

For your Halloween read, a scary TRUE story... Ever ride the Bus Dart? It is a wheelchair door to door service provided by Belle Urban System, The Bus...

Yesterday the nursing home goofed... BIG ASS time! Sent me into the community with wheelchair and mom in tow. Told me she had a doctor appointment. Got there, and guess what? The office was closed. The appointment was for yesterday. Good darn thing the lobby was open and there were 2 of the nicest ladies still there, doing paperwork. They unlocked the doors and allowed us in. One of the ladies called The Dart to beg them return (our return bus wasn't supposed to be there for one full hour more!) Even though it was fairly warm yesterday.... I was dealing with a very sick woman who just got over pneumonia. Sitting outside in the wind and cool weather would not have been a good thing, Martha. Can you imagine if it was the middle of winter and no one was in the building? The Bus Dart returned in about 10 minutes. Can't fault them there. They were actually very accommodating.

Every dealing I've been having lately makes my blood boil. Someone is going to really get blasted soon, I'm afraid...

On a good note! Yes, have to have those or I'd blow a gasket for sure.... My son is home from college for a long weekend. It was so good to hug him, see him and talk to him. He forgot about my surgery and hugged me and lifted me into the air.... Kinda ouch, but worth it.

Another good note, have plans for the evening out. Includes wine and conversation and good relaxing time. Have to keep the sanity... Have to keep the sanity... Ooohhhmmmm....

10/19/2008

I actually had to look at the date... didn't even know what month it is. Things with my mom continue to spiral out of control. We did a two week stint in the hospital again. Started with more fluid buildup, led to heart failure, then a new twist emerged.... pneumonia. Now there is a treat. What an awful way to wrack your body.

Here is some of the frustration we are dealing with:
She was so ill, we tried to get the medical power of attorney enacted. We had this drawn up with the lawyer when my father died 17 years ago. You think you have your bases covered and they pull some crap out last minute to foil you....

We learned that it means nothing until you have to have 2 doctors sign that someone is mentally incompetent. (how demeaning).... A psychologist came to eval her, she had her best day in months, and voila.... totally competent. I'm sure I will get to pay this jerk too... Means we have no rights to full disclosure, and do not get informed when decisions are made. I guess it doesn't count that I had been spoon feeding her, she was hallucinating for days, thought I was her sister, not her daughter, rang the nurses bell repeatedly without cause or knowledge of doing it... The competency decision was based on a 20 minute chat. She signed herself out of the hospital without even knowing what paperwork she was signing. Now the nursing home is making decisions for her (well she is really making those decisions, right?)

I'll let you all know about a little "trick" the nursing homes pull called "bed holds" in another blog. We now owe thousands of dollars in legal coercion/strong arm robbery just to guarantee they will take the residents back when they are released from the hospital. Medicare and private insurance doesn't cover this. You do.

It is nothing short of criminal what they do to the elderly and the families who are already emotionally fried by watching their loved ones deteriorate and spend their last days so unhappy and uncomfortable.

We can also talk in the future about the "loose books" of estate sale people. They sent a puny check to me (no way was it the full intake) and then had the nerve to use my father's antique uncancelled stamp collection as postage...I swear.

I could keep going, but really it serves no purpose.

Oh yea, forgot to add... I'm back to work full time. I'm feeling better health wise, but not really back to normal, yet.

Sandy had her rant... I guess this is mine.